Die Empty

Why am I doing this?

As soon as I share with anyone that I’ve given up my flat and most of my possessions to “go full nomad” I get two responses, in this order:

  1. I wish I could do that

  2. Why are you doing it?

As I consider the irony that those two questions emerge from one human in one breath - I am called back to my own experience...I wished I could do it.  

Now.  Why am I doing this?

Ephemeral answer: to have more of that which is precious and sacred in this life

Intellectual answer: to find out what I want and where I want to live

Ephemeral answer #2: for the feeling of something

Intellectual answer #2: to expand and challenge my worldview in pursuit of connection

#realtalk - because if I didn’t, I’d regret it. Intuition tells me that this holds something for me.  I’m holding the doors of my heart open with all my might to receive whatever that is.

I am a seeker.

I am a questioner.

And as soon as I have a question, it is impossible for me to not seek out the next question.  And the next one. And the one after that.

Yesterday, I was in Dubai.  One of my first experiences after I landed was listening to a beautiful Emirati woman speak on a stage.  As she spoke in Arabic, I couldn’t understand her words, but felt their meaning. Towards the end, amongst the slew of words I didn’t know, I heard her say, “die empty”.  More Arabic. And again, “die empty”. Four or five times, I heard this phrase “die empty.” The Emirati man sitting next to me leaned over and translated: “She is speaking about the most valuable piece of land on earth - it is the graveyard” he said.  “The people and bodies are placed into the ground with knowledge, ideas and knowing still within them. She is saying the importance of sharing your ideas, of using your voice.”

As I considered why I am where I am, what it’s all for - It rang in my head with the clarity of a bell:

die empty